What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do at Home

In my last post, I listed a few suggestions on what to do (or not do) to be productive during your quarantined downtime. I promised to list some actual activities, but I wanted to list two more suggestions to help organize your day.

Make a To-Do List! I found that when my wife and kids were at work/school, I would make a to-do list of large and small tasks to tackle through the day. This provided a great reference and goal for my day. Now that they’re all home during this virus, I have neglected to make lists and find my days floundering in indecision and laziness. I need some structure and a list provides that for me.

Make Your Goals Attainable. This is a standard life lesson, but it applies to maintaining your motivation. You might be the type t tackle a project head-on, but I’d rather establish smaller goals so that I feel a sense of accomplishment. You MUST be a bit aggressive…”Getting out of bed” should not be your primary goal of the day.

Now let’s move on to some suggested activities:

Document Your Experience!  We are living during an historical and incredible time. Record how the events are affecting your life and how you feel each day. Remember all that you can because one day, your children or grandchildren will ask about the big virus outbreak of 2020. If you still buy newspapers, keep some around. Yes…they still print newspapers.

Clean the House.  Yes, I know you’re disinfecting every part of your house right now (if you can find cleaning products in the store), but you might as well do your spring cleaning.  In previous years, you probably did your spring cleaning during a hectic weekend. Take a little more time now and be more relaxed when doing it.

Tackle a Back Burner Project.  I took the wallpaper off my kitchen walls 3 years ago. I painted five walls in a lighter shade of gray than I wanted, so I completed the rest of the kitchen in the darker shade. A couple of weeks ago, three years later, I finally painted three of the original five walls the darker shade. I was glad to finally have that project off my list. Why didn’t I complete the final two walls? 

Read on…

Make a How-To Tape for Others.  I decided to record an instructional video for fun on “How To Paint an Inside Wall.” I plan to go over details on how to prepare and then how to paint the walls. If it turns out to look halfway decent, I might post it on YouTube for the heck of it. If it becomes somewhat popular, I might create a similar video on another topic.  If nothing else, it’ll be a video my kids might want to refer to later in life.

Organize Those Photos. We all have a pile of photos somewhere that we planned to organize “someday.” It’s now that day! You don’t have to be a scrapbook expert, but at least you can sort them in some kind of order. Keep the better ones for hanging. You don’t even need to frame them, just clothes pin them up like my daughter does along her headboard.

As for digital photos, you probably have photos stored in memory sticks, SD cards, flash drives, cameras, and all sorts of other places. Now is the time to track them all down and try to upload onto the cloud, such as Google Photos. Whether printed or digital, sorting through photos can be an enjoyable and emotional experience, especially if shared with family.

Work on Your Resume. Okay, this one is easy for me because I’m actively looking for a job. But I also learned that it’s important to keep your resume updated even when you’re not seeking employment. Along with this, make sure you have similar updates in your LinkedIn account. Post a comment on LinkedIn and let people know you’re active in your field. This can help you in your current business or a future endeavor.

Get Outside! Being cooped up inside can be stressful and create anxiety or depression. Getting a breath of fresh air during a walk or bike ride is therapeutic as well as good exercise. Sure, there might be some restrictions on where you can go under quarantine conditions, but even a little digging in the flower bed or walking around the house is better than sitting on your couch all day long. Your butt will thank you for the rest.

Contact Friends/Family.  With social media today, it’s easier than ever to reach out to old friends or even to make new friends. Search out high school or college friends on Facebook. If you can find an address, write or type an actual letter while enclosing a photo you may have found while sorting. If you have a little one in your extended family, send a card with a dollar bill. All of these things will make someone smile!

Celebrate the Weekend!  I know in my last post I reminded you that your free time during the week is not the weekend. But the weekend IS the weekend. If you have all of your usual weekend projects out of the way, you can finally crack open that beer and enjoy the weekend without a looming to-do list.

I hope these suggestions help you to make your free time during unemployment or virus-induced isolation a bit more enjoyable and productive. Even if you're not working from home or a busy stay-at-home parent, it’s important to have some purpose to stay motivated during the week so that you don’t feel that your day was wasted as you head to bed. Make a reason to celebrate and enjoy your weekend!

Make the best of your time, and it’ll make you the best you can be!

An Unemployed Person’s Guide on How to Make Your Day At Home More Productive (or at least less lazy)

At the end of 2019, my place of employment closed down and I have since been in the ranks of the unemployed. 

I typically spend several hours a day seeking work online, working on cover letters and attending classes to hone my job-hunting skills. Despite all those tasks, there is still a lot of time when I’m doing…well, nothing.

It’s easy to get into a tail-spin of thinking a day off (even if forced by unemployment) is a day to be lazy and unproductive. Now that many are forced to stay home due to the coronavirus, I have a few tips on how to approach each day to make it a bit more productive.

Reclaim Your Sleep!  Most Americans suffer from sleep deprivation. Personally, I averaged around 5 hours of sleep when I was employed. This was because I used to stay up late to take care of family and personal tasks, and then I would get up very early to prepare breakfast for everyone before heading off to work.  

While I still volunteer to fix the family their breakfast, I no longer have to fit in my “me time” late at night.  I can do so during the day therefore I can go to bed earlier.  My average sleep is now 7 hours a night and I feel so much more rested and energized!  

Now that the family is required to all be at home during the coronavirus, I plan to shoot for 8 hours a night…but no more! There are things to do and sleeping all day is not the best plan.  

Establish a Wake-up routine.  This is not the weekend…or a vacation! Get out of bed after a good night’s rest and take your shower or start a morning routine immediately! Make your bed! Lazing about in bed all morning is counter-productive to other things you want to accomplish, whether they be “responsibilities” or “fun.” 

I found that having an unmade bed was far too inviting to crawl back in, so I would make my bed as soon as possible. Also, my mom always taught me that you can’t sleep well on a made bed, and who’s to argue with that?

Get Dressed!  It is very difficult to get the day started when you’re wearing your pajamas or lounging clothes. This tells your body, “Hey! Relax! Take it easy!” If you get in the habit of taking it easy, you’ll have a real tough time getting motivated! Get dressed right after you take your shower and put on your shoes! This tells your body that you’re ready to go get things done, even if you’re staying at home.

Leave the beer in the fridge.  As I said before, this is not the weekend. There are things you can and should do, and do so with a clear head. Goodness knows I enjoy a wine or a beer over the weekend, but having a beer for lunch as I complete job applications or paint the kitchen wall is not the smartest of ideas. Save the brew for a celebratory weekend.

Turn off the television.  In the morning, I typically turn on the local news, especially in these strange times. Later on, I’ll have the national news as background noise for no more than an hour while I prepare for the day. After that, I turn the TV off! Why?  For the most part, daytime television kinda sucks and it isn’t worth your time.  

I’m sure there are those that love talk shows such as The View or Wendy Williams (cringe) and there are those that love judge shows. Those just aren’t my cup of tea. However, if I run across some nature show on BBC, I’m hooked! As soon as I see hear David Attenborough’s soothing voice talking about the stridulations of the streaked tenrec of Madagascar, I lose all scope of time for at least two hours. It’s best to turn the television off and hide the remote.

Hide the snacks!  It’s important to establish an eating schedule similar to the one you’d follow at work.  For me, I used to eat a snack, usually an apple, every morning at 10:00. I would have a light lunch, and then another snack, perhaps a cookie or some other fruit at 3:00. On the way home from work, I would have one more snack in the car or grab something when I got home to hold me over until dinner.  

Now that I’m not working, I have the opportunity to snack on chips and cookies all day long. But I don’t. I try to follow the same routine that I did when employed. The only main difference is that my lunches are a little more extravagant. Instead of a tuna salad sandwich, I might fix a buffalo chicken wrap with a side salad.  Keeping a healthy…or at least a controlled diet helps you to be more energized and alert.

Keep your social media time to a minimum.  I use social media to assist with my job search.  I also use it as an outlet for other tasks, which I’ll discuss in another post. But I keep my social media time as brief as possible. I’m a sucker for click-bait and if I start reading “32 Unbelievable Stories about Gilligan’s Island,” I’ve lost a good 20 minutes of my day. 

Those are the basics on how to face your time home more productively. In my next post, I’ll discuss some of my suggestions on how to spend those spare moments in productive and possibly fun ways!

National Cancer Survivor Day

Today, June 2, is National Cancer Survivor Day.  It’s a day to recognize those that have been diagnosed with and survived cancer of any type.  It’s a day for those who have cancer to feel hope that surviving is possible.  It’s a day for those who have not been touched by cancer to take action to prevent it.  It’s truly a day for all.

Skin cancer…even deadly melanoma…is often thought of as the cancer that can “simply be cut out.”  The vast majority of skin cancer found is basal cell carcinoma which is rarely deadly. For the most part, such a cancer is truly “simply cut out” with minimal physical scarring as the end result.  The same is true for squamous cell carcinoma which is statistically more deadly, but still usually far less invasive than melanoma, which accounts for 75% of all skin cancer deaths.  As for melanoma, those who are diagnosed with Stage 0 or Stage 1 level cancer typically also have their cancer “simply cut out.”  Are those who have skin cancers “simply cut out” with no additional treatments considered survivors? 

My brother was diagnosed with melanoma in 2004.  He had a very large, ugly, and cancerous mole removed from his back and was left with clear margins…no evidence of remaining cancer.  He was also left with a golf ball-sized divot on his back but otherwise seemed unscarred.  Was he a survivor?  Jeff was reluctant to make that claim.  Although he often volunteered for Relay for Life, he never visited the survivors’ tent nor wore a special survivor t-shirt.  He would look at other survivors, those who had bald heads or were forced to walk with a cane and proclaim, “Those are the survivors.  Not me!”

Jeff was adamant about his friends and family wearing sunscreen.  He would often state, “You don’t want to go what I went through!”  He also lived with the knowledge that one out of every three melanoma survivors has a recurrence of the disease.  Whenever he would spot a new mole, or even a freckle, he would have it checked out immediately.  He became very diligent about his skin.

I would ascertain that while Jeff didn’t show any obvious physical scars (except for his rarely exposed back) he had many deep mental and emotional scars.  His whole outlook on his skin changed.  His insistence that his little brother get his skin checked yearly showed that he was affected by his experience.  His involvement in Relay for Life was a way for him to express his understanding of the cancer world.  He was indeed a survivor.

About a year after Jeff when through his melanoma experience, a lump was felt on my prostate during a routine exam.  I was sent to an urologist who also felt the lump and determined that a biopsy was needed.  The results of that painful experience were inconclusive and another biopsy was ordered.  The second experience was worse…but at least it showed no signs of cancer.  Yes, the word cancer was spoken to me.  And fear shot through me as soon as that word was spoken.  My mortality was suddenly challenged.  So many thoughts came to mind as to what I might miss far sooner in life than expected.  When I was told that no cancer was found, the relief I felt was indescribable.  I had a new lease on life.  My friends, this was only from my doctor mentioning the possibility of cancer.  I can’t even imagine what it must be like to be told that indeed there IS cancer.

With that in mind, I completely support and agree that anyone that has been diagnosed with cancer…even the simple “cut it out” cancers…is a survivor.  Being told that you have cancer is a life changing event.  If a simple in-office surgery can eliminate it, than you are truly lucky and blessed.  But knowing you had cancer in or on your body makes you feel vulnerable and violated.  And you know it can happen again.  You have survived it…hopefully for good..

My brother survived his first round, but he didn’t survive 6 years later.  He died of melanoma on November 15, 2010.  My mother died of lung cancer 5 years earlier on January 20, 2005.  This past December, on December 20^th, 2018, my dad also died of lung cancer.  My three family members all died of cancer.  I’m the last surviving member.  I hope to God that I won’t have to be called a “survivor” in my life.

 Cancer sucks.  Honor a survivor today. And remember those who have passed.

Second Prompt – First Job (or…”We think you’re perfect for this job”)

This is my second article in the “Prompt” Series.  The prompt for this piece is merely two words…First Job.

I am struggling with what to exactly write.  After all, my first job after college was as an assembly engineer for Mitsubishi Semiconductor out of Durham, NC.  I was sent to Japan for two years to learn my craft; so obviously, this first job is a bevy full of stories.  However, if I were to recall my FIRST job, that would be as a lifeguard at Lakewood Swim Club while in high school and college.  At least this is the first job from which I received a paycheck…minus taxes of course.  But then again, my literalist side starts to argue that my very first job was mowing lawns in the neighborhood, especially for the one house across the street as the occupants moved and “hired” me to upkeep their lawn until their house sold.  This job could certainly create a story or two as the house was atop a riverbank and I spent as much time knocking down monstrous wolf spider webs in the back yard as I did actually mowing.  This was a stressful job for someone with arachnophobia.

All scenarios are worthy of a “first job” prompt, but my gut tells me to switch things up a bit.  As I’ve mentioned before, I’m currently unemployed.  The ride I’ve ridden the last two months while seeking employment has been rather interesting.  It’s not like I haven’t searched for a job before, but after 20 years since my previous job search, things have changed quite a bit!

When I sought out my very first job as a lawn mower (before “landscaper” was a known term), I pretty much knocked on doors.  The only competition was from other kids in the neighborhood.  Honestly, I got the one job because I used to play with the family’s oldest son who was two years younger than me.  There weren’t many in his grade in the neighborhood so I believe the family “rewarded” me with the job.

My first paying job as a lifeguard was almost a default position.  I was on the swim club’s swim team since an early age…a regular pool rat.  Nearly every summer day was spent at or in the pool unless I was mowing a lawn.  It was nearly a rite of passage for those older “15 to 18” age group swimmers on the team to work as a lifeguard once earning their Water Safety Instructor certificate.  Once you earned that WSI badge, you were pretty much guaranteed a job of whistle twirling, trash collecting, restroom scrubbing, and sun tanning.

My first “adult” job was assisted greatly by my college career counseling service.  Companies from all over the east coast would visit the university seeking out college seniors to hire after graduation.  I interviewed with a couple companies without really having to reach out by myself.  All I had to do was look at the companies listed for the next week, sign up for an interview time, and show up.  This is how I introduced myself to Mitsubishi…not all that difficult.

About 9 years into my career I was laid off and had to seek employment on my own.  It was tough.  This was before the internet, so I spent countless hours in the library reviewing classified ads and microfilms of regional newspaper ads.  I remained unemployed (except through a temp agency) for about 16 months.  Eventually I found the job that would cement my career path for the next 20+ years.

A few months ago, a series of events and decisions took place that led me to my current unemployed status.  Once again, I faced the daunting task of finding a job, only this time I had a wife and kids to worry about supporting.  Oddly, I wasn’t worried. After all, I had years of experience and respect in my position as well as plenty of business contacts.  Plus we now had the internet which opened the world up to my fingertips.  Finding a job would be easy…right?

Almost immediately upon uploading my resume onto various job boards, I received notices of potential employment in my email inbox.  “Wow,” I thought, “this will be easier than I thought!”  Then I opened the emails.

“We’ve reviewed your resume online and feel that you would fill our needs perfectly as a sales consultant for Liberty Mutual Insurance….”

“My manager has authorized me to contact you to with an employment opportunity as a franchise owner...”

“Your resume has been reviewed by our Human Resources Department and we are contacting you for employment as a gift wrapper effective immediately….”

“Uber wants you….”

I was totally surprised.  And disappointed.  Jobs related to my actual experience and skills were not as easy to come by as I had hoped, but I never expected to be inundated with the “junk” job offers I received several times a day.  The offers extended into phone calls as well.  The phone would ring and my name would be mentioned followed by an inquiry as to whether I was still seeking employment.  My heart would race with excitement until I realized it was once again an opportunity for under employment.  Apparently I was perfect for so many jobs for which I had absolutely no skill set or interest, and yet not quite right for those positions that more closely matched my experience. 

The good new s is that I have been hired for a position and I start the job in a few days.  It’s a job with a familiar company from my past but in a different position, so there’s some nerves and excitement for something new.  I might not be the perfect fit at first, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be a heck of a lot happier that I would be with one of those other “perfect” jobs.

First Prompt...My Earliest Memory

Prologue

It’s been a long time since I’ve written any of my thoughts down, especially here.  I spent a good 4 or 5 years writing on my “Black is the New Pink” blog page, but I’ve failed to contribute to that blog for over a year now.  It’s not for the lack of desire, but due to the lack of time and opportunity.

No…that’s not true.  I have time now like I’ve not had for many years.  You see, I’m unemployed now which has opened up a lot of time to spend on writing.  Or maybe not.  If I seem rather unfocused it’s because being laid off of a job messes with your brain.  It drains you of enthusiasm.  It causes you to wonder why you’re in such a burdened position.  It causes you to stress out.  A lot.  And when you’re stressed, especially about needing to find a job, you feel guilty when you’re not taking action to find that job.  But in today’s day and age, you check the online job boards and you email friend s or colleagues and you input the same information over and over and over again at each application for a job you “might” be able to do.  And after to press the “Send” button, you sit there.  You wonder if your application is truly being seen.  You sit there.  You worry.  And you realize sitting there does nothing…but there’s no more you can do.  So you have to do something physical to get your mind off of the worry.  You mop the floor.  You paint your children’s bedrooms.  You power wash your drive way.  You work on your landscaping.  And at the end of the day, you still don’t have a job and you worry.  And at the beginning of the day…you repeat and rinse.  So is there truly time to write one’s thoughts…or are you afraid of your thoughts? 

I choose the latter.  I’ve been afraid to write only because it takes me away from my job searching activities which…are unfulfilling.  Writing fulfills me…but I feel guilty when I do write.  It’s taking precious time away from what I should be doing.  It’s a maddening cycle.  But I’ve come to realize that, like the physical work, I have to exercise my thoughts…my brain.  I have to escape the worry and stress zone and take my brain for a walk.  The easy way would be to binge watch Netflix, but that’s sedentary, and not exercise.  The keyboard is my treadmill.  It’s time to walk.

So after that dramatic portion of this prologue, what is it I’ll write about first?  Well, I have a good friend who made a suggestion.  She shares an interest in writing like I do, but she in fact writes.  She has a blog and her words are occasionally published in a local magazine.  I’m quite proud of her work and definitely listen to her when she makes a suggestion.  What she did was provide me a prompt…a statement or scenario or word…something.  And from that simple prompt, I’m to write whatever that prompt inspires.  As we discussed this exercise, the topic of early memories came up.  I can’t recall why now in that our conversations are typically quite random…almost like a waking texting dream.  But as the topic of early memories came up, she said, “That’s it!  Describe your earliest memory!”  So…with that being said, here’s my first entry of my “Prompt Phase” of writing….

My First Memory

I began to write an entire thesis on memory loss and how one can recall an event many years in the past, but can’t remember what they wore to work a couple of days prior.  But that didn’t really address the prompt of “what was your first memory?”  So I’m starting over.

I lived most of my childhood in a town called St. Albans, WV.  I attended all 12 years of school there and my parents lived there throughout my college years.  But the first 2 ½ years of my life, my family lived in a small town called Nitro which sat across the river from St. Albans.  At such an early age, it’s difficult to imagine that I have any memories at all, but I do have two distinct images that I can remember from our time on Lee Street.

The first of the two images (and I’m not sure which one is actually first) is my view from my bed.  I envision laying on a twin bed, but the view I had was of the ceiling where the wall meets.  I know it sounds weird, but that’s about all there is to it.  I’m thinking I just awoke from a nap or else I was being put down for naptime.  Heck, it could even be that I was having my diaper changed.  Either way, I know that my mom was nearby.  She’s not in my image, but I sense her presence there.  That memory, or sense of a memory, gives me comfort.

The second recollection also involves my mother.  We were good friends with the family that lived across the street and down a house or two.  I remember that they lived in a brick ranch house while our house had light colored siding…possibly wood.  My mom used to play bridge with Mrs. Walker…her first name was Alpha, which seems like an odd name today.  I believe Alpha was also in a bowling league that my mom also participated in.  But that’s beside the point.  They also had a son which I can’t recall whether or not he was younger or older.  His name was Paul; Paul, Jr. to be exact because his father’s name was also Paul. 

Anyhow, on this day, mom and I were leaving our house to walk across the street for her to play bridge.  I must have been rather small because I had a set of large plastic keys like you see for infants and toddlers who are teething.  They were primary colored and I held them in my hand.  As we were walking out the front door, I turned around to lock the door with my play keys.  I remember my mom telling me that I did a good job as we stepped down the stairs.

It’s an odd memory and I found that I remembered more detail as I wrote it just now.  This leads to one other digression.  After my mom died, my dad wrote a book about his earliest memories of growing up in Nitro during the depression and World War II.  The title of his book is “Growing Up in Nitro.”  I can see now that he wrote the book not only to document the times of his childhood and the story of growing up and falling in love with my mom, but to help provide the detail that passing memories generally don’t provide.

What pleases me most about the two “earliest memories” is that they involved my mom.  That’s pretty special. 

Easter

When I think of family and holidays, I can’t help but think of Christmas.  I have so many fond memories of Christmases past with my mom, dad and brother.  I recall Christmas in Japan.  I remember the infamous Christmas Ball.  I remember my own children’s first Christmas and beyond.  Christmas is such a magical time of year.  Yet, I think it’ll be Easter that holds the most special part of my heart.

We’re not an overly religious family.  Oh, we certainly have our roots in religion, especially on Kim’s side of the family.  Her mom worked at the church when we first met and through the years well after we were married and had children.  Kim has been through Confirmation and all the other Lutheran traditions that I’ve not experienced.  I even give our faith credit for allowing our children in our lives as we introduced prayer in our ritual while attempting artificial insemination.  Yes, I have faith that there is a power…perhaps a God…that seems to have a hand in all that happens.  Easter is perhaps the most religious day of the Christian year.  But this is not why I’ll hold Easter dear to my heart.

About four years ago, in 2010, I was into a hobby called Geocaching.  I still participate on rare occasion, but back then I was full on into it.  So was my brother Jeff.  It was stated that our mutual interest in geocaching is what brought my brother and I together more than any other event in the last…well, many years.  It was true.  Our once in a blue moon phone calls turned to weekly calls to compare geocaching stories.  We even had a little bit of a contest going to see who could find the most.  We were somewhat competitive that way.

Since I was into this treasure-hunting hobby, I decided to make Easter, 2010 a little bit of a geocaching-like event for my kids.  Instead of placing the baskets on the coffee table as I had done on previous years, I hid them, and left a single egg with a clue within.  This led the kids to hunt out a series of eggs throughout the house, collecting clues that eventually led them to the ultimate hiding place.  I was nervous that the first such hunt would be foiled by discovering the baskets too soon, but my plan worked perfectly.  So I did it again the next year.  And the next.  And the next.  And this year, I hid them in a puzzle-like way for the 5^th year in a row!

Last year I changed the written clues to simple yet challenging photo clues.  This year, I allowed the egg hunt to be more traditional, but each egg contained a letter.  When all were collected, it was up to the kids to piece the letters together to form the solution.  Next year, who knows what I’ll do.

While this hunt is certainly the main reason I hold Easter so dear, it’s not my own ingenuity on developing he hunt that makes it special.  Watching my kids work together, think for themselves, and experience joy at the challenge is my greatest joy.  My kids are good, they’re smart, and they love one another.  There is no greater joy to a parent than to realize that about your children.

Tonight, each of my kids separately admitted to really enjoying this day.  They started off with the egg hunt, and then we colored eggs (a chance for them to be creative and silly).  They didn’t fret on limited gifts, but enjoyed what they received.  They enjoyed another hunt at their grandparents’ house…showing me how much they love being around the previous generation.

Easter is an incredible day for many reasons.  But for me, Easter is a day that allows me to have fun, and reminds me every year how blessed I am to have these incredible children.

A Little About Me

I’ve noticed as my “Black is the New Pink” blog gets more readership, a few people peek in on this blog.  As I stated in my last post about 2 months ago, I don’t write as often as I should here.  This is more of a private journal than a soapbox…but still, I put it out there for anyone to read.  Stupid perhaps…but that’s me.

Speaking about me, that’s what this post is about.  I figure if some of the BITNP readers happen to stumble in here, I might as well introduce myself…or at least as much as I’ll allow myself to do online.  Consider this post a special treat for being a little curious about the BITNP writer/founder.

As you may know by now, my name is Al.  I’m 49 years old, married (for over 15 years) and have two beautiful twin children…one boy and one girl, age 9.  I work as an engineer for a manufacturing company and have a pretty cookie-cutter life.  I learn more of how to be a parent every day of my life and realize that I’ll never be an expert.  I stay up late at night…mostly typing on BITNP or surfing on the web.  As a result, I get far too little sleep.  My company was just acquired by another, so while the future seems bright at work, there’s still always a little uncertainly.  I have the same worries as everyone…finances…kids…health.  And I have many of the same dreams.

About 5 years ago, I became aware of a dream of mine.  That dream is to be a writer.  I had begun this blog before that time, but decided to really start making an effort.  That lasted a few months.  (Losing motivation seems to be a flaw of mine.)  Still, I had a yearning to write, but my work/life schedule never seemed to offer an opportunity.  You’ll notice when opportunity struck as you review the history of this blog.  There were some months that I had several entries and other months where I had none at all.  I think what I lacked was focus.

Then my brother died.

My mom died back in 2005.  Her passing affected me very hard.  I fell into a bit of a depression from which I finally crawled out.  I think I was in denial during her illness…thinking that my mom would never leave.  When she did…well, she was gone and I wasn’t prepared.  I finally came to terms with it about two years later.  But in 2010, my brother’s melanoma came back.  He’d had it before, but none of us really took “skin cancer” all that serous.  (You should know by the BITNP blog that I take it VERY seriously now).  Anyhow, his passing didn’t affect me as much as did the months leading up to his death.  I can’t explain why I handled the two deaths differently, but I did.  And Jeff’s passing suddenly became that writing focus I needed.  In March 2011, “Black is the New Pink” was born.  The rest can be read there.

But I will tell you here that I can’t be any happier with how it’s going.  I never EVER expected to have over 17,000 page views…or over 900 “Likes” to the accompanying Facebook page.  My goal was never to reach a certain number, but how cool would it be to hit 1,000 by my first anniversary?

And THAT is the most amazing part.  I’ve been writing for 10 months and entered over 75 blog entries.  I’ve had focus and motivation!  I’ve tried to make each one unique yet to have a common theme.  It’s not an easy task and I often have blogger’s block…but it’s SO rewarding to me. 

But it comes with a price.  I become close to some of the reader’s own stories.  You see, I don’t have melanoma but so many of my readers do.  No matter how much I read of personal accounts, there is no way I can truly understand what it’s like to have melanoma.  While it’s inspiring to read some blogs, it’s heart breaking to read others.  One of my favorite bloggers (Chelsea) said it best…”We live from one scan to the next…3 (or 6) months at a time.”  I don’t see how these folks can live as they do…yet they do and they’re inspiring.  Unfortunately, some have died…especially in the last couple months.  And each death reminds me of the passing of my own loved ones and that gets me a little depressed.  It’s hard to hang out in the lobby of the Hotel Melanoma.  But at the same time, I can’t imagine a better place to be.

Not only am I taking steps towards my dream to write, I feel as if I’m helping…doing something.  A co-worker and reader of mine told me that I am inspiring people…teaching people…saving people.  Sometimes, I feel like I’m “just writing.”  Other times, I know I’m inspiring others because as I read my own words, I feel inspired.  I know that sounds a bit arrogant, but it’s true.  Would a musician write music that’s uninspiring to him?  I would hope not.

I felt as I wrote “Real People of Melanoma” that it was my best piece…my most inspiring piece.  It put a face to Melanoma.  And my goodness, did the readers respond!  I’ve had nearly 1,000 page views on that post alone…easily triple of any other.  I am most proud of that piece, and proud that my readers seem to agree.

I’ve written dogs as well.  Some I thought were decent and others just didn’t flow well.  In one piece, I wrote about a friend and his bout with melanoma.  He contacted me later to remind me that cancer is private to many folks and asked that I take down that post.  I did…I forgot that while folks talk openly about their cancer in the Hotel Melanoma, many people…most people…consider cancer a very private thing.

And so, I’ve learned.  I’ve learned more about melanoma.  I’ve learned a little on how to write.  I’ve learned a little about how to not write.  And I’m still learning.

Thanks for coming along for my learning experience…

PS…Please do not link this on Facebook.  While I don’t mind others reading it, this is intended to be more of an intimate chat than a soapbox session.