The Spirit of Christmas is On the Air

We’ve all gone to the mall or discount store before Halloween and noticed the shelves already stocked with Christmas items. Each year, it seems to happen earlier to the point that it’s almost a cliché joke to hear Holiday music while one is still wearing shorts and sun block. Well now, you can hear that same Christmas music in the comfort of your own home, without tossing on your old Bing Crosby LPs or your Mannheim Steamroller CD.

Last season in Raleigh, there was one particular radio station that played all Christmas music. They used to be Sunny 93.9…the station that overplayed Elton John and Celine Dion. On November 1 of 2006, they became all holiday music, all the time. Well, at least until after Christmas, when they became Kiss 93.9. The format changed from easy listening to “feel good” music…ranging from 80’s dance to today’s more upbeat music. Frankly, I enjoy listening to 93.9 now and then when other songs hit “overplay” status on my preferred stations. I assumed they would convert to Christmas on November 1 again this year, but hearing “You Dropped a Bomb on Me” by the Gap Band convinced me that they canned the holiday genre.

Eventually, I began to wonder if any station would be playing holiday tunes this year. Admittedly, it was pretty early in the season, but with all the store decorations flooding my senses, it made me wonder if in fact we’d have an official Christmas station this year. As I scanned the radio dial, I found that 102.9 indeed was “Carolina’s Official Christmas Station”…even endorsed by Santa himself. Christmas had been saved! There was now a guaranteed 24-hour sound track to accompany all yuletide activities. Still, it’s pretty early in the year for Nat King Cole and Jose Feliciano. After all, this was around November 10…nearly two weeks before Thanksgiving!

In the morning, I generally listen to 101.5. They have played the same adult contemporary style music for as long as I can remember. The music is okay, but I typically listened to their “morning show” deejays. In fact, they’ve even talked about a couple of my blogs on the air, so I have a special place within me to listen to these guys. Well, on November 14, I tuned in as I normally do, and lo and behold, Elvis’ “Blue Christmas” blared from my speakers. Surely this was only a once-per-hour type of airing. But subsequent songs proved that assumption wrong. Mix 101.5 was now broadcasting exclusively from the North Pole.

Over this past weekend, I was painting my bedroom (another blog-worthy venture in itself) and turned on my son’s boom box for accompaniment. After a while, I realized I just wasn’t in the Christmas music mood, so I turned from 101.5 back to 93.9. What I heard was good Ol’ Bing singing “White Christmas!” Could this be the right station? Yes it was. 93.9 is now playing “Kiss-mas” music until the big day itself. So we now have not one, not two, but three “official” Holiday music stations in the area (and not one adult contemporary station).

I suppose I can understand the logic. After all, what other genre music exists where so many people know the words to so many songs? I dare you to listen to an hour of Christmas music without humming or singing along to at least one of the songs. And what other type of music invites the likes of Andy Williams, Josh Groban, Annie Lennox, Faith Hill, Mariah Carey, and even Twisted Sister equally onto the airwaves? When you think about it, as irritating as so much yuletide music can be, it’s the most popular music there is. So what radio station general manager wouldn’t want to pump up advertising revenue with a little Jingle Bells and Little Drummer Boy?

As I close my thoughts, Gene Autry is crooning “Here Comes Santa Claus.” My toe is tapping, I find myself humming, and I think of my kids’ impending giddiness at the thought of Saint Nick. You know, maybe Christmas music should be played more often after all.

South Beach Thoughts

It’s been over 6 weeks since I’ve entered the South Beach lifestyle. I’m about 12 pounds lighter now and thought I’d present a few highs and lows from my journey thus far:

Biggest Surprise: It’s not so hard. I’ve been amazed at how easy it’s been to fix dinners and even find some meals available at restaurants. Just make sure you like salads and chicken.

Biggest Challenge: Exercising. I continue to have trouble finding time to exercise the last few pounds away. My belt tightens and my slacks are bigger, but I feel like if I exercised a little more (a LOT more) I’d actually go down a couple inches in the waist.

Biggest Frustration: Not knowing the effect on my blood until December 5th. I know the weight loss is helping my overall health, but as I’ve said before, it’s about my blood health. They don’t make a triglyceride scale to stand on…yet.

Best Diet Meal: I’ve learned to cook sirloin steak consistently well, along with grilled peppers and other vegetables. However, as god as the George Forman grill is, it dries out steak WAY too much. One must cook it up on a skillet if not grilled outside.

Worst Diet Meal: It’s a tie between two meals I’ve prepared. The pan-fried salmon was quite good, but the smoke created nearly brought in the fire department. That’s one dish best cooked on the outdoor grill. The one I didn’t like was the baked cod. I think cod is meant to be fried or grilled, not baked. Rubber bands tasted better.

Best Diet Dessert: My creation of Cocoa Ricotta Crème. Take ½ cup of part-skim ricotta cheese, one packet of sweetener (Splenda), ¼ teaspoon of extract (I use both vanilla and peppermint extracts and my wife likes coconut), and ½ teaspoon of unsweetened cocoa. Mix together, top it with Cool Whip Free…sprinkle a pinch of cocoa for good looks…and enjoy! However, make sure you use Polly-O brand ricotta. Others have a cottage cheese texture which takes away from the experience.

Worst Diet Dessert: Ricotta Crème without the flavoring. I only endured that once. Thank god for cocoa.

Best Cheat: I am an M&M freak. I love my M&M’s. Of course, any type of candy is basically banned within this diet, so this was a worry for me. I’ve found, however, that I can satisfy my cravings by simply having 2 to 4 individual M&M’s. Not four handfuls like I used to eat, but just four M&M’s. This handles my chocolate fix without gulping down a ton of carbs.

Biggest Grocery Frustration: In the interest of time, I usually cook (or rather, heat up) a Jimmy Dean omelet for breakfast rather than cook my own eggs. The two most available types are the Three Cheese and the Ham and Cheese. They also make a Western Omelet that quite delicious, but only Kroger carries it. For the last 3 weeks, they’ve been out of the Western Omelet. Dang it…why doesn’t anyone carry the best one?

Best Grocery Surprise: South Beach is EVERYWHERE. I have to question the 11 grams of carbs South Beach approved cookies, but they claim to be acceptable under Phase 2. Hopefully, the people at South Beach, Inc. haven’t merely sold out to Kraft to market their product and that these foods really are good for you. The fact is, no processed or frozen packaged food is as good as home cooking. But living in this hectic drive-thru microwave world, it’s a decent compromise to find an "acceptable" meal now and then.

Best Side Effect: There have been two side effects from this new lifestyle in addition to weight-loss and (hopefully) healthier blood: an appreciation of "better" food and a more healthy…um…morning bathroom session. Okay, so maybe this is TMI, but frankly, when I was on a higher carb and higher fat diet, my time on the "throne" was not the healthiest experience. Since increasing the fiber and cutting the fat, let’s just say that I leave with a healthier feeling.

Worst Side Effect: not so much from the diet, but from the medication. Luckily, I’m not experiencing the predicted hot flashes when I take my full-dosage of Niaspan. However, a more subtle side effect is itching. There are some mornings where I swear there’s a ton of ants crawling on me or biting me. It’s quite irritating, but luckily not an every day occurrence.

So, the journey continues. I’m hoping to be a few pounds lighter by my doc appointment on December 5, and also hope that my belt will tighten by one more hole. So far, it’s been an easier change than expected, although I do still miss the occasional donut and bag of M&M’s. Still…it’ll all be worth it.

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!

I suppose when most people approach an upcoming birthday, they remember celebrations from their past. When I have such thoughts around my birthday, I tend to recall goulish masks and scary costumes. (Thank goodness my birthday is on Halloween or else I’d need major therapy). Personally, I recall sheets worn over my head in a blinding fashion, my Man from U.N.C.L.E. mask that nearly suffocated me, and a devil costume that my mom hand-sewed for me, complete with pointy tail. As I aged into my teens, the disguises faded to the yearly dressing as a "hobo" merely to pass the costume cops so that I could beg for candy. Upon entering college, youth was reborn (with the help of a keg of Iron City Light) as I recall dressing as Zorro and a couple of other less flamboyant characters. But no costume rests deep within my memory as well as the one I wore in my late 20’s. In the early 1990’s, I not only dressed the part, I became Beetlejuice.

My incarnation as Beetlejuice occurred completely by accident. As Halloween approached in 1992, my girlfriend at the time insisted we visit Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Most areas across this country have at least one town within driving distance that is famous for their intense Halloween celebration. Chapel Hill is such a town. Every October 31, costume-clad college kids gather by the thousands to Franklin Street to display their creativity, ingenuity and depravity. (82,000 people attended the celebration this year). Three types of people gathered on "The Hill"…the observers who merely watched in amazement, the slightly-costumed who walked the streets (usually with beer in hand), and those that appeared to have been dressed by Hollywood’s best special effects artists. For this particular Halloween of 1992, I was content to be an observer, but my girlfriend insisted on dressing to some extent. I had no objections since I’ve always enjoyed the spirit of the holiday.

I found an old pair of surgical scrubs and frizzed out my hair (which was a LOT longer back then) so that I’d look like a mad doctor. I added black circles around my eyes for that crazed effect. I have to admit, for a 30-minute plan, my costume looked pretty decent. We ventured to Chapel Hill, parking about ½ mile away, and was immediately lost in the crowd. I was amazed, as this was my first visit to the celebration. Frat brothers dressed as a group of Vikings riding a boat…9-foot tall monsters…and plenty of other expertly dressed partygoers. And as I said before, there were thousands of costumed individuals roaming the street. However, no mater where I walked, I kept hearing someone yell, "Beetlejuice!" Being a fan of the movie, I kept looking around for someone donning the black and white striped suit and a hideous mask, but I never saw such a person. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" It finally dawned on us that they were yelling at me! While my focus was on the mad-scientist look, I never realized that I had such a resemblance to Beetlejuice, but in fact, the hair and the black eyes created a remarkable likeness. From that point on, I claimed to be dressed as Beetlejuice, but in surgical scrubs.

The next year, I found a white sports coat and white pants at the Goodwill store and applied black duct tape all over. I also let my hair grow out from the beginning of August until Halloween and bought an assortment of "Beetlejuice-like" props such as large bugs to chew on and plenty of green, black, red and white make-up. I also rented the movie and watched it several times so that I could learn the nuances and voice. By All Hallow’s Eve, I had transformed into Beetlejuice.

I must have pulled it off, because I won several costume contests over the next few years. One award was given at a friend’s party where everyone pitched in 5 bucks. I think I won about $150. I also entered a contest at an Applebee’s where I won second prize, which was a neon bar sign that I sold in a garage sale the next year. The winner was a very bosomy Elvira. Most of the judges were male. The biggest prize and thrill of the season was when I attended a contest at local bar. Hundreds of folks gathered and I ended up winning "Best Impersonation." First prize was a trip for two to the Bahamas. You would be amazed at how many attractive women hit on a Beetlejuice-looking guy when he has such a prize in his possession. However, I never cashed in on that prize. It turned out there were too many fees involved to make it anywhere near "free."

The greatest reward I received as Beetlejuice was on trick-or-treat nights. The neighborhood kids delighted at seeing Beetlejuice greet them at the door, although admittedly, the younger ones were a little intimidated. I probably caused many children to have a fear of clowns after the parents assured the tikes that I was "just a clown." But the funny thing is that kids would come by in the summer time and ask if Beetlejuice was going to be back the next year. Even the ones that were scared asked that. Despite the silliness of it all, the kids liked it. And that is a better reward than any neon sign or faux trip to the Bahamas.

The Beetlejuice costume has been long tossed aside…partly because my hair (what’s left of it) just couldn’t take the punishment, and mostly because I’ve moved on to other things in my life. I have a new "girlfriend" (I now call her "wife") and I have two little trick-or-treaters of my own. Perhaps one day I’ll resurrect Beetlejuice, but right now, he’s best tucked away as a pleasant birthday memory. From here on out, my future memories will include Spiderman and a Ladybug, and whatever else my little ones dress up as in the future. And those memories will be better than ever.