Friday, November 17, 2006

Advise for the Stupid

It’s been over two weeks since I wrote my last blog. It’s not so much that nothing is going on in my life worth discussing, but that too much is going on to allow time to discuss. Plus, I’m not one to air my personal grievances to the issues public…I have friends and family with whom to vent and I don’t need the world to know the details of my problems. However, when life at work and home are as busy as it is for me right now, it’s pretty easy to get into a complaining (okay, bitchy) mood. With that in mind, I’ll use this time and take this opportunity to voice some…well…I guess one could say, advise to the stupid. These are little ditties that I see time to time that make me wonder why, just why, do some people have the right to do whatever they are doing. Here are a few such observations and words of advice…please feel free to voice your own:

  • If one is driving on a side road and approaching a main road WITH a traffic signal, why must this person feel obligated to force themselves into the main road’s heavy traffic with a right turn on red? On one road I take to work, which happens to be the "main road" in my example, other drivers are constantly forcing themselves into bumper-to-bumper traffic with the thought that WE should yield to THEM to allow them to turn right on red. Well…THEY have a traffic signal that allows them to turn on green WITHOUT cutting off someone. I just don’t understand this mentality…especially when the traffic on the main road is so busy.
  • To the person on the main road that let’s such a person turn in front of them…why? If the side road had no traffic signal, I would applaud the courteous nature of the main road driver. But when the intersection has a traffic light, then let them wait their turn!
  • When it’s foggy outside, or when it’s raining, turn on your lights! We know you can see us just fine…and that your headlights don’t help you see us any better. But we can’t see you. And the reason you can see us is that we are smart enough to have our lights on. Take the hint…turn on your lights!
  • Stop smoking. It looks stupid, makes your breath smell bad, makes your teeth yellow, and kills you. If you insist on smoking, chew on a turd…it’s just as effective and attractive. The days of smoking making you look cool are long gone. Keep up the smoking and you’ll be long gone, too. (Note, there are some people that I love who smoke…I love them, I just don’t love their smoking).
  • Halloween is a day for kids to have fun…to dress up in funny or scary costumes and to go door to door and ask for candy. It’s also a day that the parents of such kids can actually meet their neighbors (gasp). For 99% of us, it’s NOT a day of Satanic worship or paganism. It’s a day of fun. Period. Let people have their fun. (Okay, so this gripe is a little dated, but I had to say it)
  • Take your shopping carts to the shopping cart coral or back to the store. Leaving the cart in the parking lot just gets in other’s way. If the only parking spot left on the lot was blocked by a cart, would you not complain? Then do your part and return your cart when done.
  • People who speed over 10 MPH over the speed limit are dangerous. People who drive 5 MPH UNDER the speed limit (especially on the highway) are MORE dangerous. Keep pace…but reasonably so.
  • Let the small kids in the front when watching a parade. It’s for their pleasure and you can see over them.
  • Don’t drink and drive. Okay, I didn’t make up that phrase…and I’ve been guilty of having just one beer and then hitting the road. But if you have kids in the car, or waiting at home for you, is it worth it?
  • Whether or not you wear a team jersey while watching the big game on television WILL make a difference to the outcome of that game. Hey, I didn’t say that all my views were unbiased or made complete sense.

That’s all I can think of for now. As I said, feel free to add your own or comment on mine. And let’s hope I’m in a better mood for my next postings.

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